_ Ma LuRbE _

_ Ma LuRbE _

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

_ T___T _

hmm havent wrote 4 like ages..well I didnt have the mood la okei...last wk was juz shyit...everything juz went wrong. Started off wif bro...he's acting all weird again...:S bro pls la donte scare me lo...

Worst of all it started on da 1st dae of holidaez..I felt soo alone n lonely...Actually I wanted 2 run away from house n juz escape but I cant..Penat dah I menangis...I caged myself kat toilet...Nape lah I rase mcm ni...tak pernah2..*takes pillow n cover my ears*... GO AWAY...stupid thoughts...*BORED*... who else do I haveeeeee?!!?!..

Dah la me n my kor(my real blood bro) ngah gaduh...abis tu..ngan seme orang pown nak kene gaduh....like sooo wat the kan....im also glad dat holidaez r here..I mean finished all my projects n presentations..8/9 wks of HELL doing assignments daily...every weekends..sucks...

It started wen I needed help la...bro wasnt there..he had STH 2 do..2 LAYAN sum1 else..so yeah I met dis mamat on facebook...COINCIDENCE he was my fwend nye cousin..lol damn small world kan! So ya he helped me...n I guess bro didnt like it? Duno la he had a random feeling ke aper..

But anyway dat mamat..he is damn similar 2 my EX! ZHIIII...OMGGGGGG...can diee....FAT2 oso chubby2 oso..chinese mixed malay oso...he sounds like my ex oso! like his words similar2 2 Zhi...I was juz speachless...n sad 2 say horny2 like my EX oso...lol...n he works shift oso mcm zhi...N he from WOODLANDS (in Singapore oso) =.=" alamak cunnn siaaak Zhi oso in woodlands..LOL...But anyway he's been keeping me company since 2dae...ok la...n we both facebook obssesed. ha..anyway donte ask I duno how 2 feel juz very alone rite now..missing every1 especially my aruah datok..:'(

But at nite..I couldnt sleep at ALL..rabak siakk and unfortunately fatty(my new fwend) was tired from work so he said he nak tito instead of temankan i...So I literally had no1...usually if I had troubles..bro was there 4 me...but I guess..naa I discarded the thought. And aku plak call me ngada2 slut..bitch...childish..but I really cant sleep if I donte talk 2 sum1...I felt so lonely...SO ALONE...where's every1?!..read fifi's blog n she herself got her own problems so I didnt wana kacau her...

Couldnt hold it no more..I cried again....but juz 4 awhile la... cuz my eyes were tired of crying..n den decided 2 read my buku melayu till 2am?!...den the book reminded me of ME...n I was tinking of my aruah datok n how much I missed him...troz sedekah 4 him fatihah...n den I looked at Shah's pic on my wardrobe..n cried again cuz I miss him 2...I havent talked 2 him in 4months! Cuz he himself has his own problemz..so while I was crying...I sms him...

Mcm Allah sent an angel to me la..he missed called me..meaning he wants me 2 call him..so I did..."Sha....Sha okei tak...nape ni Sha cedih2...xmao la nangis...nanti cepat tua"...Haha..tau je die nak amik aty aku....n so he calmed me down. Sampai lah I totally stopped crying...how I miss him..how I miss his hugs...how I miss being in his arms...so it was all gud...in da end my battery flat...didnt wana wait I used my other fone 2 just mesg him n say jom tido...well he is working n has 2 get up at 7am...hahakz. So I slept peacefully :)

And Fifi baby...I love u sis..juz relek u will be fine..I will be there wif u 2morrow...I promise. *Hugs n Kisses 4 u*...Trust me lah okei which fucker laugh at u..u juz tell me I will literally fly my ass down n bash dat chee bai..:)

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