_ 11/02/11 _

11/02/11 --> Thursdae

Hmmm I couldnt sleep da whole nite since I got home from work dis morning... been crying all nite long n tinking about Zoro...Duno if I can cope without him aye.. :( I really really dun wana leave him tho..I duno juz sth about him...yeah n so much fo him saying "pls pls dont leave me"...PFFFTT!...Anyway was sick n tired of cryin all nite n I tink he passed out while waiting fo me till I came home...So I rang him at 0630! Surprisingly he answered afta a few calls...n admitted dat he passed out aye. Hmm I told him dat I couldnt sleep...n so his suggestion was dat I come ova his house..I thot about it fo a sec n went out...saw mom left me a note more like a list of things fo me to do..so I told him Id do dat 1st den go 2 his.. which I did :)

Got 2 his n juz chilled out in bed aye..apparently he was supposed 2 attend dis manageral meeting fo work as well n he forgot about it..n dey told him 2 not worry about comming no more..n yea so we chilled out fo abit more..kinda nice..cuz no1 was at his house..just d two of us like it was our own house :) Yea n we played street fighter fo abit as well..n he kicked my ARSE..haha but it was fun..then yeah had a lil shower tgt n off 2 work :(

I was 2 hrs early so I went 2 grab sth 2 eat at foodcourt. And I bumped in2 his fwend. Ended up following him 2 cut his hair n den hang out with him in da car while he was drinking..Hmm..I had a bad feeling about it..cuz sum parts I felt weird the way he was touching me n tickling me n stuff..I felt like it was too friendly. :S And at work I felt kinda left out cuz dis otha fella at work hu absolutely hates me..( I shall call him Timberlake) ..Yea he was just in our way.. n watching us n shyit.. so yeah :( n then on d way home..I kinda felt Zoro distance himself from me..n I really wanted 2 talk..but he just dropped me off n didnt say anything :(

So when I finally reached home we talked on da fone as usual n he then explained 2 me wat was wrong..he was just worried 4 me..how I was hanging out wit his fwends..n the actions I do...he gave me like a whole lecture..which was gud..made me realise...the gud n bad side of things...n the things dat he has done 4 me...how he went a long way just 2 help me out at work n stuffs. ..n so d last thing I asked was.."wat u mean by call it off 4 abit?...cuz 2 me..if we totally call it off...I feel like there's a hole in my life..have 2 do things all by myself..no more buying extra food..or extra wateva.." And I told him to please not talk in poems n riddles just go straight 2 d point..and so he said "just END IT!"... there u go...well yeah Im fine wit dat..up 2 u la..juz why cant u say it b4 b4....n stop fucking wit my head?!..N I tink I was so pissed off I just yeah said I wana go 2 bed :(

_ 10/02/11 _

10/02/11 --> Wednessdae

Hmmm yea well its a new year PEEPS! Ha le luuu yaa! and I'm finally guna start blogging again! :) :) I really do mish my blog aye! xD Anyway just so yall noe I recently just broke off with my bf Chubby. Yes...Yes d big n ultimate question is y rite?! Well..Few reasons: 1. Continuously fighting becuz he apparently things I have a THING fo his best mate or so called "BRO". 2. The things we do are so routinal....I duno I just find it a drag and its boring. and I dont look forward to even do it with him. 3. Parental ISSUES!! My parents have not met him yet but dad did caught me hugging him 1 time so yeah... :S Im FUCKED! And mom saw my profile pictures of me n him on my MSN and fb and said " PLEASE REMOVE ur pictures with dat chinese boi ahh!! MENYAMPAH!(menyampah means sick of it or can also mean yuck). So there you go...4. Just sick of him COMPLAINING dat everytime we hang out he says its not enuf when I FUCKING bust my BALLS off all d time to LIE to family n get in soo much SHYIT just to please n hang out with him! Urrgghh!!!..5. I really have no more feelings 4 him..in fact I dun even noe y I fucking like him..seriously...it was just like me n Chung..otha EX..it was just dat moment I guess..cuz I was crying n emo-ing about my past..n he seem to calm me down abit..n I was insecure VERY INSECURE..n yeah he just threw himself at me n started kissing me or kept trying 2 kiss me..OMG its exactly like Chung!..cuz I nvr wanted to be with the idiot! He just fucking threw himself at me..n rushed the kissing part..n rushed the intimate stuff..bleh..

Anyway I couldnt sleep much 2dae..woke up at 0600 2 wake Zoro up cuz he has werk at 0700...Duno y la but 2dae I abit lonely?..n I wanted to talk to him all d way until he reached werk 2dae aye. Surprised dat Zoro was kind enuf to let me accompany him as well..cuz he usually grumpy wen he wake up..but not dis time I guess....Wen he had 2 start work omg...it was really painful its like dont leave mee.... :( lol...n I tried 2 sleep back but cldnt eitha so I stayed awake watching pple dance on Youtube..Then Chubby rang n I pretended 2 be asleep or 2 hav d sleepy voice..I didnt even answer.....then he rang my otha fone which I was sms-ing Zoro n accidentally pressed answer..DO'H! 1st thing said was "WTF?! Y didnt you answer my calls last nite?!" I just told him I didnt feel like ttalkking 2 any1.Then he also had a go at me cuz he saw me early at work yts n I apparently ignored him n came in 3 hrs early to see his bro! But Im like WTF?! Im not longer ur concern, vise versa so fck off!! Dat went well :( Rang Zoro straight afta. So he said he wanted 2 talk n will pick me wen he done with work. We went 2 grab Twista @ KFC Zoro is apparently addicted 2 it since I introduced it 2 him.

He had bad news. :( :( People have been givin him n me shyit @work cuz he is now called d "best mate's gf stealer" And apparently since Im happy every1 fucking sympathises on him now. I swear I cried like 4 times! 3 times in d toilet n once in front of him. And yea he said "Dis is not guna work out aye...Mebi we shld call it off fo abit let Chubby calm the fuck down or move on 1st den catch up again next time.." But he also said sth else dat touched my heart which was " I really like you..hanging out with you makes me happy...& I noe its kinda contradicting but I wana try 2 be in a relationship with you...I think we will be aiight aye..But meni juz not now...its just bad timing...But yeah I dun wana fuck it up again man I mean me n my EX was 2 yrs & it was the best feeling eva!... But yea unfortunately it didnt or couldnt go any longer..Im not guna fuck it up dis time!"...In my head I was like fuck ah might as well get married 2 me rite?! Bodoh! ..Yea den he sent me off 2 work ady...to top my dae up DAN was working :S jesus!